Hello, and Happy 2021!

This is a new year with (hopefully) positive changes. Lots of great things are in store for you all! I have plans to keep growing my author platform that everybody will enjoy, not just LGBTQIA+. If you have any ideas or comments on what you would like to see, please reach out to me or comment on my posts, and I will take them to heart. I am working hard to reach out to an all-inclusive audience and merge horror with gay issues. With that being said, let us dive into this week’s topic.

New years resolutions have been something that everybody can relate to. It’s something that we all are guilty of trying at the beginning of the year and something that we all admittedly failed at doing in some way or another. Whether you want to be more active and lose a certain amount of weight after scarfing down holiday treats, quitting a habit such as smoking or drinking, or even saving money to make a huge purchase. Now, I’m not saying that these goals are not obtainable. I know plenty of people who are successful with committing to their resolutions and can bask in the glory of their successes from their hard work and dedication. I don’t want to discredit those individuals. Congratulations on sticking to your plan!

For most people, when they pick a resolution, they choose something incredibly challenging that would cause them to quit at a certain point. As important as it is to challenge yourself to become better by committing to a task, the reality of the situation is simply this: adulting sucks! Most people have the same monotonous life where it can, at times, become hectic. It isn’t easy to lose a high amount of weight to commit to going to the gym to work out every day when you have a family to take care of. Your workday might’ve been very tough, and you may feel like you want to go home and watch your favorite movie and eat your favorite snack to unwind. You may have an emergency that would cause you to spend that hard saved money to get out of your rut, resulting in impeding your goal to make that big purchase.

My message to you is a few things:

  1. Set small goals. Treat your end goal as if you are climbing the giant mountain of your life. It is hard to explain this analogy without pictures, so bear with me. Climbers go up a section of the mountain, and once they reach a certain point of the day, they must go back down to allow their bodies to acclimate to the pressure. They camp out for a period of time before resuming. This is something they commit to until they eventually reach their end goal of the top. Think of that while you are trying to accomplish your goal. Don’t set an unobtainable goal that seems unrealistic. You are setting yourself up for failure right off the bat. This is one of the biggest reasons why New Year’s resolutions are more than likely not seen through to the end. Make small goals, and then celebrate those small victories (this part is a must!) before moving on to the next goal. Reward yourself with accomplishing the goals. When your potty training a dog, you give them a treat when they do the right thing by not soiling themselves on your lovely and expensive flooring, and you’re acknowledging their commitment to trying to do the correct task.
  2. Acknowledge the fact that you may fail. We live in a society where if you don’t accomplish your goal, you are a failure, and that you should give up. This is not the case! Remember that the city of Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you make a goal to quit smoking and you are doing very well at giving up this addictive habit. Suddenly, you cave and have one after a tough day or if you were socializing with your friends. Don’t just throw your hands in the air and say, “Screw it.” Recognize that you may have had a slip and tell yourself that it’s okay. Also, give yourself the discipline to say to yourself that you may have fallen off that horse, but you will need to get back on it at some point. Hold some sort of accountability that you will need to get back on track. Otherwise, complacency will kick in, which is another common reason why resolutions are not accomplished. The other part of this point that I want to mention is that you need to recognize that you will be outside your comfort zone. It is daunting to change something about your day-to-day lifestyle and charge forward wholly. There will be doubts. When I challenge myself, especially when I was writing my novel, there were times that I struggled with doubts. I won’t go into details about those specifically. I use a quote whenever I tackle something outside my comfort zone, and I use it as a daily practice. “Fear Conquered Nothing!” It is a mantra that I use to push myself even though I may or may not succeed; it’s about trying your hardest.
  3. Find a support system and reach out to them if you’re struggling. I know that this may be hard to believe since we are all guilty of being too much in our heads and relishing our problems (sometimes too often), but you are not the only one who is having it rough. You are not alone. Everybody has tough days, struggles with adulting, or is dealing with mental issues. They may not be committing to the same goals or resolutions as you are, but you can relate to how bad a day you are having. Sometimes, venting to somebody is all you need before you can brush off the dirt and move on. Also, reach out to your close friends and family. They are essential in your life for a reason. You can’t accomplish any goals alone! Sometimes, you need that particular person to tell you that you are good enough and that you can do it…so use them!

In closing, I also want to say one more opinion regarding resolutions. I have mad respect for those who choose to do it and either succeed or not. Change only should happen when the person is ready to embrace the change. If you are not prepared to challenge yourself, then don’t fall into the pressures of New Year’s traditions. Be ready to set those goals when you are prepared to. If your mind is only halfway into the challenge, then you may have already set yourself up for a loss.

Well, that is all I have for you today. Stay safe and keep challenging yourself to be better!

Please reach out to me in the ‘Contact’ section if you have any other topics you would like for me to talk about or anything you would like to see more of with this author platform.


  1. I don’t have any particularly interesting resolutions, but I thought I’d share my husband’s. He wants to learn something new every day. It can be small or large, but SOMEthing. He did this last year, too, and it was great fun listening to him describe mini-facts about stuff or how he learned to do something new at work. Good post!

    Liked by 1 person

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